|Thank God it's Friday
||[Aug. 21st, 2009|12:08 am]
It's been a long, long week, but 00:12 is looking pretty in a particularly 'welcome to the weekend' kind of way. Time is a strange thing when you live in a hospital. The routine is the same every day, so days roll into weeks, weeks roll into months and suddenly four months of your life have passed and you're still here never knowing what season it is, nevermind what day. The weather doesn't exactly help me to distinguish where we are in terms of summer/autumn/winter, but nevermind, on the grand scheme of things, whether leaves are budding or falling, I suppose that my prioroties lie elsewhere.
I'd like to thank everybody who has been sending messages of support and commenting on my blog - it really means a lot to me. I'm not one to get all soppy on you all, but you know who you are, so thank you.
The atmosphere on the unit is a tad strange, edgy at the moment. There are cliques and nonstop talk of alcohol being used on the unit (strictly banned) and seemingly casual refusals at mealtimes. This kind of thing is bound to happen, considering what kind of environment we are in, but to me personally, I don't give a damn what other people do to themselves if it isn't going to effect anybody else... the fact is though, that it does have a major impact on the rest of the patients.
Cliques make you feel uncomfortable - whether they are bitching about you or not - paranoia is not a fun state of mind to be forced into by high-school-esque whispering.
Refusals are par for the course when we are talking about new admissions, but recently a few who have been here long enough to know and obey the rules are just taking the proverbial piss - we know it's hard, we know it's sometimes impossible to face certain meals, but that's why there are staff on hand to offer the support needed to face up to what we need to do. There are patients in there who equally would rather stick pins in their eyes than to eat again, but we still do it and our efforts are belittled whilst we stare at the empty chair opposite side of the room - the one who got away.
As staff have not yet found any proof for or against individuals drinking on the unit, we are all suspect (although some (Me) more than others). Rather than innocent until proven guilty, it feels more like guilty until proven innocent - hence me demanding a breathaliser last week (negative, of course). Even after that I am still being asked on a daily basis whether or not I am in any way involved and everyday I maintain my innocence and get that little bit more pissed off about the whole situation, as is probably most obvious round about here.
So there IS drama here!
I'll be glad when tomorrow comes though. We all know the Friday feeling, the last hour of work before stepping out for drinks and a weekend full of engagements, late lunches, family fun and washing and ironing... multiply that by about 1000 for the feeling of having a 2 night weekend leave from the unit (only minus a little for the anxiety side of things). It's my boyfriend's birthday this weekend so we have a lovely bunch of people coming from all over the place for a couple of nights of fun shennanigans in Wales - Real life stuff! I can't wait! Tales shall be told next week...watch this space.
Today's Happy Moments
1. A fellow patient and I were enjoying coffee in John Lewis and heard an announcement welcoming children to come and meet Bob The Builder to receive a free goodie bag. Immensely sadly, we found that what we imagined would be a walking talking Bob, it was a mere plastic structure. Instead, we scooted around on flashing scooters, chilled out in Mr.Bump chairs and read some quite disturbing childrens' books about misunderstood caterpillers. Giggles all round - who needs Bob?
2. Gaping at a certain Mr.Bolt - just wow! For a while I wished I was Jamaican so that I could be justifiably proud... but sod it, I'm proud anyway!
3. A new rule as a consequence of the aforementioned drinking antics is that the door to the garden will be locked at 10pm (usually 11:45pm). This did not go down well, as both smoking and starspotting at night are enjoyed by many of the clientele. At 9:55pm tonight one of us was tied to a water pipe, another had found a suitably pokey stick as armour and the rest of us were forming plans to shimmy up drainpipes and protest from the roof. They never even locked the door, but they wouldn't have had a chance with our fantastical antics to contend with.
4. I couldn't resist this one. Tonight I booked tickets to see Rodrigo y Gabriella - if you haven't heard of them, you HAVE to see this:
That's all for today folks.